Quote Database

1 2 3 > Last

#34 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
<.ғıяέkαтт> you should see it you take two big dongs that are used to
                  rough housing with each other and you throw a little man into
                  that mix,.... pure Mayhem and Havoc!!

#35 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
»julez« : she coulda read em thru the fabric
   Freebird : were you leakin?
ÐïvëÐèèpër : :-O
  »julez« : :-|
ÐïvëÐèèpër : brb
Vista® looks up leaking pussy on google images and finds a picture of a wet cat
  »julez« : :-O
ÐïvëÐèèpër : back
   »julez« : wb
ÐïvëÐèèpër : howdy vista   wondered if you were actually here
ÐïvëÐèèpër : ty Darin  
Vista® : ah....found one.....had to turn safesearch off
ÐïvëÐèèpër : lmao

#36 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later?
Steelix: He's right.
insomniac: what happens in my stomach...
mindule: insom: that's very interesting
PixelGuru: damn
PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce
insomniac: haha

#37 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
<+Dr_Link> SSL certificate: $30.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Dell mainframe server: $1.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Discount cupon: -$80,000.
<+Dr_Link> Getting hacked by a POST injection: Priceless.

#38 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
chrismat: Oki offtopic question. If a laptop bluescreens during first install, and then when you are using it what is the cause?
DBuzz: windows

#39 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
17:12 < RooT> »Vista«
17:12 < RooT> »SharkTooth«
17:12 < RooT> are you online?
18:08  * Vista checks whether he's online
18:08 -!- Irssi: Pasting 8 lines to #4-IRC. Press Ctrl-K if you wish to do this
          or Ctrl-C to cancel.
18:08 < Vista> administrator@Laptop:~$ ping 192.168.1.254
18:08 < Vista> PING 192.168.1.254 (192.168.1.254) 56(84) bytes of data.
18:08 < Vista> From 192.168.1.254 icmp_seq=1 Destination Host Unreachable
18:08 < Vista> From 192.168.1.254 icmp_seq=2 Destination Host Unreachable
18:08 < Vista> From 192.168.1.254 icmp_seq=3 Destination Host Unreachable
18:08 < Vista> --- 192.168.1.254 ping statistics ---
18:08 < Vista> 6 packets transmitted, 0 received, +3 errors, 100% packet loss,
               time 5017ms
18:08 < Vista> , pipe 3
18:08 < Vista> nope
18:08 < Vista> :-P

#40 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

#41 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
<Helix> fuck
<Helix> my back right tire is flat
<Helix> this is lame
<Owashawa> change it and put the spare on
<Owashawa> problem solved
<Helix> then i have to change it
<Helix> and its cold
<Helix> and wet and shit
<irn> You fucking girl
<irn> get out there
<irn> What if your wife's water broke and you had to take her to hospital, eh?
<Helix> it'd make it
<Helix> besides, that's what ambulances are for
<irn> what if your vehicle IS the ambulance?
<Helix> ill know a thing or two about assiting birth
<Helix> besides, im gay and exempt from your question
<irn> What if your boyfriend got stuck in an inflatable suit during a balloon fetish romp?
<Helix> id masterbate until i passed out

#42 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
Jameleous says:
i was just typing "the service has been good on o2 since i turned off 3g, reset and turned it back on" - 5 bars generally
as i typed it said error - cannot send message as network is not found
NO SERVICE at the top

#43 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
Original Install Date:     27/07/2009, 22:36:19
System Up Time:            32 Days, 16 Hours, 33 Minutes, 52 Seconds

Note: this was originally posted on the 29th of july 2009 for anyone that doesn't get what's odd about that uptime.

#44 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
Icez            • does Bandit still come here
SharkTooth      • ?
SharkTooth      • yes
SharkTooth      › looks at bandit
SharkTooth      › waves and yells IM RIGHT HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SharkTooth      • Duh
Icez            • ohh

#45 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
01:17  from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client connecting on port 6667: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [clients]
01:19  from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [Quit: Nokia - Connecting People:-p]

*For anyone that doesn't get what's odd here, look at the ip*

#46 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
yeah.....latest version....3.2.8.1
hmmmm....my wireless is going screwy
says i'm connected to BTHomeHub-C316(unsecured)
which is the right ssid....but it's not unsecured
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
i'll see if i can connect to it to see if it went unsecured
wait'
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
ummmmm.....you're a little bit too far away
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
thats impossible
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
lmao

#47 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
[16:35] *** Quits: Ser_Olmy_ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Rawr (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: natm (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: alien8 (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: christel (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: SNAFU` (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: metty (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Alasdair (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: }Night{ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: andyd_ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: sladen (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Noodles (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: data[moo] (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: cpufreak (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Dougie (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Radix (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
...
[17:24] *** Quits: huggie (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: kurai (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: maxeh (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: Weety (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: metty (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: huggie (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: kurai (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: maxeh (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: Weety (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: data[moo] (*.DE *.us.ircnet.net)
...
[19:39] *** Quits: data[moo] (hub1.us.ircnet.net irc1.us.ircnet.net)
...
[20:35] *** Quits: cpufreak (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: metty (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: huggie (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: kurai (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: maxeh (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: Weety (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:39] <data[moo]> ircnet in the wash today or summit?
[20:39] <data[moo]> seems to be shrinking a bit

#48 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
<kittense> that's like kiddy porn or something:?
<HolloW> its porn with a baby in it but i wouldnt classify it as kiddy porn
<kittense> i wonder what more people look at
<kittense> the cooter or the baby
<kittense> the baby is much cuter
<kittense> that is one ugly cooter
<HolloW> what is a cooter?
<kittense> you never had a cooter?
<HolloW> i just dont know what it is
<kittense> snatch
<kittense> you know what snatch is?
<HolloW> no
<kittense> poontang?
<HolloW> a word that may exist in the english dictionary?
<kittense> umm
<kittense> pussy?
<kittense> cunt?
<kittense> twat?
<kittense> any of those ring a bell?
<HolloW> got it

#49 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
<space> got any good tunes to spare?
<ToRMeNTeD> tons
<ToRMeNTeD> what kind
<space> whatever
<space> im easy
<ToRMeNTeD> thas what Im listening to now
<space> lol shit i got no speakers yet brb
<ToRMeNTeD> askin fer music wif no speakas
<ToRMeNTeD> sprocket what are we gonna do wif you
<PsyHawk> like a blind man asking for magnifying glass
<ToRMeNTeD> classic
<space> heheh lame award
<space> im like that fucker sent me blank tracks

#50 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
<@reflir> also, my harry potter sex bot arrived
<@reflir> err
<@reflir> I mean boxed set

#51 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
<jws> (D:) Local Disk
<jws> Total size: 66631337 GB

#52 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
A user on a network being really mature until I killed them *rolls eyes* They kept flooding so I kicked them, then this stupid exchange occurred:

   Geo             • jsdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    to  operserv    • kick
                    • OperServ [services@4-irc.com] has kicked Geo [Vista (stop flooding)]
                    • Geo [Geo@223D0935.8561C061.549CE784.IP] has joined #4-IRC
     Geo             • fuck
    +Ace             • i'd rather not thanks;)
   +Ace             • i don't have the right 'attachments':-P
     Geo             • »Vista« fuck your mother
    Geo             • »Ace« fuck your mother
     Geo             • »Vista« fuck Ace mother
     Geo             • »Ace« fuck Vista's mother
   @Vista           • wow...real mature

from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Permanent K:Line added for *@91.204.190.36 on Sat Sep 5 19:04:48 2009 GMT (from Vista!~vista@NetAdmin.4-IRC.Com: nice try)
from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Geo (Geo@91.204.190.36) [User is permanently banned (nice try)]

#53 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
<pils> An email from a friend:
<pils> one guy in my office thought the firewall access to the users pc's was
<pils> dependant on the colour of the ethernet cable, so he was hunting for
<pils> the red "high access" cable this morning, to swap it for his yellow
<pils> "normal access" cable.......
<Phil> colour coding cables is one thing
<Phil> that's just insane

#54 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
insaneFlash: man
insaneFlash: finals are taring me an ass
dogz: ah
dogz: man
dogz: are they gziping it as well?

#55 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP

#56 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
@eliaz`medal): i have broken two of my erm
(@eliaz`medal): foot things
(@eliaz`medal): extensions
(@eliaz`medal): those little thigns on ur feet (@eliaz`medal): 5 on each :: (@eliaz`medal): :/
(@eliaz`medal): dunno name
(@Ched): toes?

#57 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
<RDrR> FUCK FUCK FUCK
<RDrR> i was tryin to do that spray whippd cream snorting thing
<RDrR> i filled my entire fukin nasal cavity with whipped cream
<RDrR> fuck its bleedin

#58 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
J - The Ultimate In Experience says:
I'm sure I heard a seagull dying in the mouth of a cat one morning
Craig - In Trance We Trust says:
lol
J - The Ultimate In Experience says:
It's squawking got more out of breath
Till it was silent
Craig - In Trance We Trust says:
I was probably having an orgasm
*it

#59 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
WALLOP shadow:  $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips how to reduce the pain?
WALLOP shadow:  $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen
WALLOP shadow:  $ I don't think swallowing semen would help either
WALLOP shadow:  $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water would help
WALLOP shadow:  $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with that
WALLOP shadow:  $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would taste like
WALLOP shadow:  $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen
WALLOP shadow:  $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up already!

#60 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
<Shift_Wreck> OMG guys you gotta hear this
<Shift_Wreck> So i goes to the grocery store to pick up smokes and a frozen pizza.
<Shift_Wreck> I get my things and head to the 12 items or less line.
<Shift_Wreck> i get in line just as the guy in front of me is setting his items down on the conveyor belt thing
<Shift_Wreck> his items were: get this
<Shift_Wreck>  a box of condoms, a medium sized cucumber, a tub of margarine and a 12 pack of beer
<Shift_Wreck> I imediatly am thinking "lolwut?"
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> well  i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> oops
<Shift_Wreck> the guy and cashere must have heard it because they both turn to look at me
<Shift_Wreck> im grinning from ear to ear now and my eyes are darting from the guys face and the items he had on the belt
<Shift_Wreck> i catch the casheirs eye and i look at her and shes looking at me like 0_0 and shaking her head "no dont!"
<Shift_Wreck> this all was a few seconds but it felt like an eternity...
<Shift_Wreck> well i finaly says to myself: "shift, youve gone this far, may as well say something"
<Shift_Wreck> so i say to the guy (still with this huge grin) "going to a party?"
<Shift_Wreck> The girl just loses it and starts laughing
<Shift_Wreck> the guy just scowls at me
<Shift_Wreck> looks to the girl
<Shift_Wreck> and walks away leaving his items there at the checkout
<Shift_Wreck> it was kinda awkward
<Shift_Wreck> pizzas good though

#61 (+|-) (Rated: 1)
MrHahn2265: she is my sister
MrHahn2265: words really cant descibe her
MrHahn2265: although I can attempt to describe her through massive bangings on the keyboard
MrHahn2265: l.kjnfvgfg8ifgudfbpoicxv'lk
MrHahn2265: woops i opened paint

#62 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
<MystyGlyttyr> No, had to spank the cat for crawling up on the gun cabinet.
<Vennie> Next time just leave them loaded and let the problem solve itself
<MystyGlyttyr> Nah, it's not my cat.

#63 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
from AusHost     - Your vhost of Listening.To.Hard.Trance.From.My.ShoutCast.Server is now activated.
                    • Ace [~admin@Serving.Hard.Trance.From.My.ShoutCast.Server] has joined #4-IRC

#64 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
<@anorexicpoodle> so the cable modem is plugged directly into your comp
<KooGooShii> lemme check
<KooGooShii> yup
<KooGooShii> i just unhooked it and checked
<FinalLancer> /notice me if you get it up, imma gonna be doing stuffs
<KooGooShii> yet im still on the internet
<KooGooShii> isnt that weird
<@anorexicpoodle> uhh
<@anorexicpoodle> what port did you unhook
<KooGooShii> lets see how long i can go without my modem plugged in before i get disconnected!
KooGooShii «~aliasmpu@24.114.112.97» has Quit iRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#65 (+|-) (Rated: -3)
Topic from a Vista help forum:

gohan2091: When I put my PC to sleep, the slightest movement of the mouse (such as when I slide the keyboard stand under the desk) brings my PC out of sleep. I know a bit about software so off I went into the obvious.... the mouse settings (control panel). I unticked the option "Allow this device to wake the computer" and hit OK but it doesn't appear to be working. I can still bring my PC out of sleep by moving the mouse.

mark: Strange but true:

Accepted Microsoft answer to this problem: turn the mouse upside down

#66 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
<Kat> I just got an email from Horny Orgy Babes.
<Kat> oh gee... I wonder what it's about
<kmds> rhinocerous calves studying organic chemistry?

#67 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
<Skream> Anyone got an IDE controller I can borrow?
<Skream> Mine just caught fire.

#68 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
<Ephialtes> ugh
<Ephialtes> I.
<Ephialtes> Am.
<Ephialtes> Wet.
<Ephialtes> infact I am BEYOND wet
<Ephialtes> I am soaked
<Ephialtes> no wait, I am beyond soaked
<Ephialtes> I am drenched
<Ephialtes> and I may be beyond that
*** Ephialtes has been kicked off channel #ev3 by zambezi (flood)

#69 (+|-) (Rated: -3)
<port-> well peace out fuckers
<port-> im done with soa
<port-> email me if u want to talk, odoyle has the address.
* port- sets mode: -o port-
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels
<ap0c> heh
<ap0c> he'll be back
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has joined #soangels
<port-> god damn autojoin
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels

#70 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
<Mog> Anyone else having extreme AIM problems?
<Seifer> Nope.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Yeah. I can't seem to fuckin' pee in the bowl today. >:
<rabid_si[FFX]> It's all up the fuckin' walls.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Er...
<rabid_si[FFX]> Oh.
<Mog> ...
<Seifer> Lol.
<rabid_si[FFX]> You mean AOL Instant Messenger.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Right...
* rabid_si[FFX] whistles.

#71 (+|-) (Rated: -5)
<SypaNick> You get fisher price sql with MS
<SypaNick> My first SQL server.

#72 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles?

#73 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
(lawngrl): im gonna insert my ipod in my vagina tonight and go to sleep i love it so much
(Fire_on_High): I'm quite sure that'll void your warranty

#74 (+|-) (Rated: -3)
<Tengu> I can has kitty?
<kjbrasda> i'll mail you one
<kjbrasda> first class
<HyperSquirrel> poke in air holes
<Gibbie> I don't think you should put holes in the kitty

#75 (+|-) (Rated: -3)
<joesboxd3b> it is just ironic.... you can't get the cvs version of cvs unless you get the older version of cvs then cvs to the cvs server to get the latest cvs version of cvs

#76 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary

#77 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
<sano_> argh
<sano_> i just wrote a backup script
<sano_> and then i overwrote it
<sano_> and i dont have a backup of it

#78 (+|-) (Rated: -3)
<Commander> whoa that's not good
<Commander> the end of my mobile plug (plugged into the USB port on my PC) was sitting in the side of a potplant IN WATER
<Commander> i pulled it out and it said "new usb device found"
<Commander> =/
<Commander> dunno how long it's been sitting there for
<CompHobbyist> new USB device found: potted plant v.001
<CompHobbyist> power usage for this device: -10W

#79 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
<LabMonkey> ok riddle me this
<LabMonkey> I open the pack of cigarettes
<LabMonkey> pull out one
<LabMonkey> pick up my lighter
<LabMonkey> put the cigarette back in the pack
<LabMonkey> then try to light my nose...
<LabMonkey> What the fuck, over.

#80 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
<matt____> hey guys is there a way to patch an older redhat server??
<matt____> Linux devcvs 2.2.16-22 #1 Tue Aug 22 16:49:06 EDT 2000 i686 unknown
<Evolution> holy hell
<Evolution> 2.2.16?
<Evolution> just out of curiosity, what's the uptime on that antique?
<matt____> devnu11:18am  up 2287 days,  2:52, 25 users,  load average: 1.76, 1.26, 0.70
<Zathrus> gods

#81 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
*** [ircnic] (ircnic@couldnt.find.condoms.so.I.used.my.leftsock.com) has left #trance

#82 (+|-) (Rated: -4)
—I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— Netsplit Detected. «irc.right.asscheek irc.left.asscheek» [6:56am]

#83 (+|-) (Rated: -3)
<+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
<+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money", they never objected
<+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
<+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same time right
<@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
<+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number"
<+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
<+HoCkster> it was like webchat
<+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like
<+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"

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