I fucked up

I admit it. I’m human, I make mistakes.

However, lately, i’ve made several mistakes. Ones that have cost me friendships, and also irreparably damaged relationships with a certain family member.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t regret both of them. because I do. I am aware however, that both of them are now unfixable. I’ve considered contacting the friends that i’ve lost to try and make up. One of them, however, I know either will not reply, or will tell me to get lost, and the other friend, i’m unsure about.

As for the family member, the only thing i’ll say is that i’ve been told they would have asked me to move out by now if this virus hadn’t been going around. So in 18 months or so, I guess i’ll be homeless. To be quite honest, I feel like ending my life somehow. For the last few nights, I’ve thought about just going out at night, and spending it down the beach.

Maybe everyone would be better off if I were gone.

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2 Comments

  1. IamKangy

    I cannot speak for your other friend, but I know for me, I would have been open to listen (well read) what you had to say. So you can’t say you know exactly what the outcocme of that would have or will be. If you want to you know my email and know how to contact me. Not everything is unfixable if both people are prepared to make an effort.

    What I will say to you, and this I know for experience, nothing is worth attempting to take your own life. You know the amount of times I have tried and failed, the last time nearly worked with the massive insulin overdose which put me into a coma for a week, I was lucky I came out of it.

    This COVID-19 situation has changed a lot of peoples mindsets. And shows you what is most important in life. So, all I am going to say is if you want to reach out, you know my email. Whether you do or not is your choice. Whether you now block me from your site is also your choice. But I am reaching out as you know, I know about suicide and homelessness.

    So you know how to contact me. And I will leave it at that.

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